Finished my law school orientation this past week. Real classes start on Monday, and I already have hellla homework. Welcome to my life for the next 3 years!!! I am actually really stoked. Scared shitless, but stoked. I am so ready to have my ass kicked by law school! Hell yeah! I know my first year of law school is going to be a total emotional roller coaster, and I'm going to have my fair share of meltdowns, but somehow I'm still looking forward to it.

Living in Emeryville now, literally down the street from Ikea (YES!). Love my easy-peasy commute into the financial district where my school is, and totally loving my school so far. I love my apartment, aside from the fact that my housemate is a major cigarette smoker (was not aware of this until I moved in!) and I think the smoke and ash is giving me sinusitis. Bought a nose douche today (Neti Pot!), and while it made my face feel better, "my nose felt violated" (to quote Paul, who also uses one). I have my own awesomely large bathroom and slightly small bedroom, and I share the very empty living room and kitchen with my roomie. Plus, my apartment complex has a swimming pool, hot tub, gym, and steam room. Ed is currently yo-yo-ing between here and Santa Cruz until he goes back to school next month.

Also, we have cable. WITH HBO ON DEMAND. After 2 years of not having TV, this is an absolute miracle. I cannot stop watching tv it's terrible.

I guess I should stop procrastinating and get to my Contracts and Property Law homework. On a friday night. Paarrttaaay.....

So I have been slowly working on going through all my shit, and deciding what to sell/donate/etc. I had a Trader Joe's bag full of stuff that I was gonna try to sell to Crossroads. Brand name handbags that I no longer use, shoes, hats, etc. I was convinced they were going to buy pretty much everything in the bag, since the stuff was in really good condition and cute. Sadly, they only took one hat and one shirt, but offered me $10 in trade that I could use in store.

I don't ever have good luck in thrift/second-hand stores. I'll admit it, I think that sifting through used clothing is kinda gross. Plus, all recycled clothing stores have a gnarly smell.... But I decided that I would take a look around and try to find something for around $10 that I could get for free with my trade. I picked out a couple skirts and for the hell of it, jeans. I have been avoiding buying new jeans for about 2 years. Buying jeans is the largest pain in the ass ever. I am convinced that jeans shopping is hell for every woman I know.

Amazingly, 3 of the 6 items I brought into the fitting room work! There is a skirt from Express that is this really pretty, billowy, black thing, made of 100% silk. $9.50!! I am sold.

Secondly, a pair of jeans that actually FIT. HOLY COW. In addition to fitting, they still have the original tags attached. They are also the perfect straight-leg cut, which is what I've been searching for (I think I am thoroughly over flares, since they've been popular since I was in middle school for crying out loud). Moreover, they are $22.50.... BUT HALF OFF. At the check out counter, the girl compliments my "cute find!" and I respond that I am just stoked to find jeans that fit. She was like, yeah sometimes you "gotta go designer" to find jeans that fit. She also exclaims at how amazing a buy it is for $11.25. Apparently, they are designer jeans. I just did some online research, and it seems that the G-Star Raw jeans I found retailed for $170. JEEZ, who pays that much for jeans?! I balk at the $40 price tag that comes with my formerly-trusty American Eagle jeans. Anyhoo, I am thoroughly STOKED that I found such nice jeans for $11.25 with the tags still attached. Daaaannng.

My third item was a pair of black skinny jeans with zippers at the ankles (they were $12.50). I am... unsure about skinny jeans. Some chicks look super cute with their skinny jeans/cute flats look combo, I am just not sure if I can be one of them. I have been looking for some skinny jeans anyways to wear with my boots. Because my boot-cut jeans, contrary to their name, are not easy to tuck into my slouchy boots and they always bunch up.

I just finished washing my 3 new thrift store finds (I am still squeemish about the idea of pre-used clothing, remember), and am stoked to wear them.

My life has been crazy lately. A total emotional rollercoaster with current-boyfriend/ex-boyfriend clashings, breakups, and all kinds of other high-drama events. Totally the kind of thing that I try to avoid. Luckily I spent the weekend in Berkeley with Maddy, so I got to verbally hash things out with her. We went out to Thalassa with Paul and Jay to belatedly celebrate Maddy's 21st birthday. I bought both of us lemon drop martinis to toast her b-day, which we drank on practically empty stomachs due to skipping dinner. Adding to this already not-good situation, Jay and Paul bought us all a round of Jager Bombs. Needless to say, I was kinda drunk and the four of us played arguably the most talentless game of pool ever. One game lasted the full hour we had the table, and that was WITH slight rule-breaking. Everytime one of our teams was close to winning, they would scratch several turns in a row and negate any kind of headway they made. Oy. But it was super fun!

I am going on a last-minutely planned trip to see Ed this weekend, so that we can try to work things out. I really hope that we can give "us" another shot, even with all the hurting we've inflicted on one another. I really love him.

So last night I was drinking Orangina from a wine glass, eating chocolate, and listening to the Backstreet Boys. Guess what time of the month it is? You betcha.

I'm having girly emo time right now. Tori Amos + scented candles + writing in my actual journal (not this lj one). I bought a new journal on sale at borders yesterday (50% off) as well as the scented 100% plant-based "organiwax" candle (75% off) yesterday, and this is what the guy cashier said to me: "SO, you gonna light a candle and write in your journal tonight? Have a private romantic moment?"......... wtf. How are you supposed to answer that? "Yes, I am a loser, and that's exactly what I'm going to be doing?" Sheesh.

I'm just chillin right now before heading out to 99 bottles with Emily, Jared, and some other people. See? I do go out! Take that, Borders guy!!

Favorite quotes from the last week:

Just now, on the phone with a high Jared-

Jared: "First rule: Pizza trumps all."
Me: "Jared, I think you're a little biased right now."
Jared: "No, pizza always trumps all....Also, I like money."
Me: "So rule 1, pizza trumps all. Rule 2, Jared likes money.
Jared: "Yes. Because money buys pizza."


On Sunday, while in Berkeley visiting Maddy, Paul, and Jay. Private convo with Maddy while walking to develop film-

Maddy: So I have a random question.
Me: Ok....
Maddy: Well. What do you know about anal sex?
Me: What?!
Maddy: Just tell me what you know!
Me: Well... I've heard you're supposed to like, empty yourself out pretty thogoughly before hand... and it's supposed to hurt pretty ba-WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS?!

On Saturday night, walking to Beckett's with Maddy, Paul, and Jay. Paul and Jay are trying to remember the name of the only White Zombie song that was really popular in the 90s-

Maddy: Wait, his name is "Rob Zombie"? Like, is that his real name?
Jay: No, he chose that name. Like Xzibit.
Me: That was a really weird example, Jay.

Man, I always have SO MUCH FUN when I visit Berkeley. This was my third time there this school year, and despite the horrible weather, it was great! On Friday, I got in about 3:30, and after trekking up the hill to drop my stuff off at Maddy's apartment, we walked back down to Telegraph and had NAAN AND CURRY (third time there, and I am totally and completely addicted). After being completely stuffed with wonderful Indian food, we walked to Jay and Pauls for a brief visit and walked alllllllll the way to the opposite side of campus through the rain back to Maddy's. Thoroughly soaked, we decided to spend the rest of the evening watching junk television. Due to the fact that I do not HAVE television in my apartment, when I get to watch television I like to watch the junkiest thing on. Thus, I chose to watch "Rock of Love 2." I don't know what it is about some Berkeley people, but it's like they're too intellectually superior to degrade their brains by watching Brett Michaels oogle fake breasts. This one girl who was visitng Maddy's housemates was constantly bitching about how stupid it was, and I kinda wanted to smack her.

Anyhoo, saturday morning I just hung around the apartment while Maddy went on a field trip. After Maddy came back (with Cheeseboard pizza), we walked to Papamingo's for pinkberry-style frozen yoghurt! More walking around the Telegraph area yielded a new pair of boots for me (cute slouchy animal-friendly-fake-suede black flat boots that were almost 1/2 off!). We passed some time sitting in front of some bakery drinking Orangina and talking before again heading to Paul and Jay's. After playing some guitar hero 3 with Paul and Maddy and kicking major ass (I beat the high scores on both "One" and "3's and 7's"! God I love beating boys at video games, they don't take it well at all!), we went to the asian ghetto and Maddy and I ate pasta at Gypsy's. We had to get to Beckett's before they started carding due to Maddy being under 21 (last time we got there too late, so Jay and I ended up going alone), and because we were there early we got a table. Many drinks were had, and it was a blast. Maddy had a record-breaking TWO drinks, and Paul and I both had 3 (Stella, Capt Morgan's & Diet coke, and a 7&7 for me, which was more than enough to get me kindapretty drunk), and Jay had 5 (including the MOST DISGUSTING vodka martini ever. I helped him drink it, and it was beyond horrible. The vodka must've been the cheapest shit they had there!)

We just had fun talking and being together, and being in good company. Jay said that I should come more often, because the only time they ever go out is when I visit. And I realized when I was sitting there that I almost never go out in santa cruz. None of my friends ever want to go to bars, even just to Rosie's to get a table or something. No one here has time to hang out with me, so I never see anyone and it made me really sad, and really relieved that I will be leaving Santa Cruz in the near future. Anyways, we made plans for Maddy's 21st b-day in April to go out to Ruby Skye in SF for real (we skulked by the entrance for a while during my first visit to Berkeley in September, after our dinner at Union Square, but realized we were way underdressed/undercool) and I hope that it happens! Maddy and I had to walk back home in the rain again, and I had slightly drunken over-share talking sessions with Maddy before bed.
Sunday Maddy made breakfast, and we went to the People's Cafe for coffee before I left on BART and came home.


Being in Berkeley again just drove home the fact that I reaaalllly want to go to school in the bay area next fall. The good news is that I just found out last week that I got accepted into Golden Gate University's school of law in the city, so if I want to badly enough, it can definitely be a reality. If they offer me a good scholarship (like Phoenix School of Law did), there's a damn good chance of me going. I am really stressing right now waiting to hear back from the other 4 schools I applied to, and trying to decide if GGU is an ok choice for me in case the other 4 schools don't work out (I already ruled out Phoenix despite the phatty scholarship, mostly due to location and the school being too new). On the one hand, GGU was on ABA probation for a couple years due to low bar-passage rate and thus got a kinda shady reputation as a result. On the other, they were removed from probation last month! I did a lot of research, and they managed to raise their bar passage rate to a much higher and more decent percentage recently, which is a good sign. They are still one of the top 160 law schools in the country, so they aren't that bad, or so I would like to think. GGU was my safety school though, so we'll see what else works out.... ugh, I wish they'd all just hurry up and tell me already! The suspsense is killing me!

Well, I meant for this to be a short entry about my favorite quotes of the week, and it has gotten out of hand. Time to stop!

I had my first pinkberry today. After hearing all this crazy hype about it, and running across youtube vids involving it (John Mayer's "2 girls 1 cup" parody in particular), I have finally tasted this crazy dessert. I am in Valencia visiting Ed, and I have been looking forward to the visit (and the pinkberry!) for over a month now. It was pretty damn good. I can see why it would cause obsession, because it tastes really.... interesting. It's like, you can't stop tasting it. It's tangy, but sweet, and creamy without being rich. I had a small original with fresh rasberries (the rasberries were really good!) Anyhow, I'm definitely a fan. Luckily there aren't any pinkberrys (pinkberries?) in Northern California, so I will not become addicted.

I'm really glad I could still come down here and visit Ed. Susan failed to give us our paychecks last week like she was supposed to, which I was counting on in order to not be broke. I had $5 in my checking, and I had to transfer $40 from my savings (which was the most i could transfer without going under the balance limit of my savings and incurring monthly fees) over to checking just to be able to pay for gas to get down here. I was just going to cancel my visit, but Ed insisted I still come down and we'd do things the "old fashioned way" with him paying for everything while I was down here. I felt pretty bad about it at first, because we've ALWAYS split things 50/50 (well, more like 70/30 because I've always payed for gas always, even for chauffeuring his ass around, and also payed for all the groceries even though I cooked for both of us). But since I've payed for more stuff in the past, I've tried to just relax and let him pay for the In n Out and Wendy's this weekend, haha. It sucks that both Ed and I are so broke... but like he said today, at least we're broke and together for the weekend instead of broke and alone like we usually are. All I've had to eat today was pinkberry, because Ed didn't have enough to buy us both lunch AND dinner. So we had to forgo lunch, and just suffer through the hunger until it's time for dinner.

Alas. If only I had been paid, stupid work! It was going to be a decent sized paycheck too, gosh darnit. Hopefully she gets it to me tuesday (i'm assuming she didn't have the sense to fax it in before the hoilday weekend started). Or else I will just have to starve indefinitely.

Well, that was a pretty retarded update, but oh well. I am not looking forward to the 5 hour drive home tomorrow, but at least I have my short stories audiobook to listen to! And hopefully my paycheck will come through so i will have money to go to Berkeley next weekend like I have planned! Hooray!

Bah. I feel like i always post when i am trying to put off doing something important. This time, it's actually writing my personal statement for my law school applications. I already have a very rough outline written out, but I need to make myself crack down and just type something out. But every time i try to start, i start panicking and putting it off. But it's basically the only step i have left to finish for my law school apps, besides waiting on my last letters of recommendation to be received by the LSDAS (should be any day now!) and paying a butt-load of money. Seriously, I need to write that damn essay.

Life has been normal-ish. Now that it's the holiday season, work has been insane. It's like as soon as Thanksgiving is over, people start going into crazed panic mode. They're like, "Holy SHIT! I only have ONE MONTH until Christmas. One month is practically nothing! It might as well be tomorrow! I better go take in 8 framing orders to Graphfix and buy a bunch of shit, all while acting like a lunatic!" The last 2 times I worked, I spent the majority of my time taking framing order after framing order non-stop for hours. Also, my already crazy boss starts acting even more crazy during the holiday season, and my other framing co-worker frames SO SLOW that he is practically no help whatsoever. Thank god I got a raise starting the beginning of this month, or else I would completely hate my job. In a strange turn of events, I am working very sparsely after the first week of December. This is both good and bad. Good, because my stress level will be greatly reduced with less work and I will have more time to turn in my law school apps. Bad, because I will not be making much money. Christmas is not a good time to be broke.

Thanksgiving at Ed's was pretty good. Tim came along, which was fun. He insisted, "Sis! Thanksgiving is about FAMILY!" How was I supposed to turn the kid down? haha. It was great to see Ed. This last stretch was the longest time that we've been apart since he moved down south for school, as well as the longest we've been apart since our relationship started. The only downsides of Thanksgiving was lack of food (there were 25 people at the Garcia's Thanksgiving dinner, thus not enough food for everyone) and the fact that we stayed at ed's brother's house, which they keep at 55 degrees. We were FREEEEEEEZING. All in all, it was good to get back to SC and sleep in my warm big bed in my warm small apartment with my man. It wasn't a long enough visit, but I'll get to spend more time with him over winter break. Hooray!

I'm listening to Christmas music right now. I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't HATE christmas music. Don't get me wrong, i do hate lots of it. For example, NOT a fan of Kenny G or easy listening christmas muzak, or any of that awful pop-christmas stuff they play in malls (with the exeption of Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is You," which is a classic). And don't get me started on Techno christmas music, it's beyond awful. But I like orchestral christmas stuff, Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra's christmas stuff, BB King's christmas music, etc. I can't help it, good Christmas music reminds me of happy childhood winter memories. Being bundled up in an enormous coat, and driving around looking at all the christmas lights and luminarias/farolitos in New Mexico. Decorating the tree with my family. Coming back inside after playing in the snow for hours, and having to peel off my wet socks and put them by the fireplace to dry. But i feel like a pariah for liking Christmas music. It makes me "uncool." Thus, I am reduced to listening to my Christmas music alone, in secrecy. At least until I go home, where luckily my dad shares my liking of seasonal music. And ABBA.

Oh man. I really need to start that freakin essay. I am running out of things to ramble about in order to procrastinate. Damn.

Ack, i CANNOT believe i am graduating next week. I mean, i am no longer in denial (my period of denial was impressively long. Long to the point where people had to be like: jessica, order your fucking cap and gown. now. stop procrastinating. you're almost out of time!) but it's still so surreal. I had my last class sessions of senior seminar (no final in that class, and i already finished my final project. I did it on the life and music of Trent Reznor of NIN, and I performed "Hurt" on piano while singing) and Ethnomusicology today, and it was so weird feeling. People saying bye, and throwing out retarded comments like "it's been real, guys... have a nice life." Nice. That's real sensitive.

Projects I am currently working on (outside of the 2 remaining finals, 1 remaining paper, and several remaining over-due homework assignments, including writing a 3-voiced Fugue, I still have):

-Learning the Dvorak method of touch-typing.... supposedly it's a gazillion times better for your hands and wrists. And more logical. It's been a bit interesting learning it, because QWERTY is like, ingrained in my muscle memory and brain. Also, the dude who invented this system was related to Antonin Dvorak, one of my favorite composers.

-Finding a (good) job. Susan has called me about 7 times trying to persuade me to come back to work at Graphfix, as a manager with raised pay. There's still no way in hecko i'm going back to work there. I wasted too much energy there already. Anyhoo, I spent an hour with my advisor at the career center yesterday, and revamped my resume for the umpteenth time. She had some good ideas, so hopefully that'll help in the job search. When I go home, I need to buy some smart clothes for interviews. I had dinner with a group including Rachel Blumenthal yesterday, and she recommended a "power suit." I like it...

-Long term project (over the next year): figuring out what the fuck i want to study in grad school and where the fuck i want to go. It doesn't matter that I was a damn good student in my undergrad career, that i am graduating with a high GPA, blah blah. It doesn't help me figure out what the fuck i want to do in life. So what if i CAN get into grad school, i don't even know WHAT the fuck grad program i'm interested in.

-Working out what kind of extra-curricular (i don't even know if that's the right term anymore) activities i want to partake in next year. DEFINITELY some sort of dance class. Preferably also some sort of singing class, possibly jazz if i can swing it (haha! swing it!). There is still the matter of how i will manage to PAY for these activities (refer back to project No.2- Finding a Job).


Yeesh. I feel like i got a million loose ends flapping around. I'm worried about sticking around Santa Cruz next year. Because the reason i love santa cruz is because i love being a student at UCSC, i love my friends, and i love my boyfriend. But next year, none of that will be here. I won't be a student anymore. My friends won't live here anymore (except a couple who i never get to see as it is, but i guess things can change). And my boyfriend will be in Southern California working on his Masters. Soooooo.... who knows if SC will be as nice. At least I'll still have my brother when he comes back in September. We've been hanging out more lately, and i'm really lucky that we're so close.

Well, that about does it. I am done with my update, which is basically pointless as no one reads my LJ anymore (except maybe Sophia? Hi SOPHIA! I miss you! I'm glad you've found an internship that's working out! I hope we get to see each other sometime soon!). Ah well.

I had to ask Jared to come down to my apartment and open a twist-open bottle of sake for me. I felt pretty lame, but Jared got to feel like a "big strong man" so i guess that's ok. The sake is pretty good too.

Sooooo. I have been revisiting Linkin Park. Apparently, they are releasing a new studio album on May 15th. I watched the new video for their single "What I've Done," and... the video is cool. It is a pretty strong political statement, and nice cinematography. I'm not that impressed by the single itself, but the jury is still out. Maybe the album will surprise me. Goodness knows i loved them enough in high school. Emo-Jessica was all about the Linkin Park. They were pretty cool live too, i don't care what anyone says, haha.

SUPER excited about the new Nine Inch Nails album out in a little over 2 weeks. They've previewed some songs off it on MySpace, and I'm likin' what i'm hearin'.

I finally got to have some girl time today! Em and I went out for coffee this afternoon, and I went to Sushi Totoro for dinner with Cath. I got zero girl time over spring break, and i was feeling a bit desperate. It was much needed.

In other news, i am purging the bullshit out of my life. Well, the big things anyway. After the lady orchestra-conductor dissed me yesterday (not the first time), i decided i've had enough and QUIT. I've put in 8 quarters of orchestra here at UCSC, and i don't owe them shit. So yeah, i'm DONE. I totally have tuesday and thursday evenings free during the school year, for the first time since spring sophomore year! AND i still get to take violin lessons with Roy Malan, the badass of all badass violinists, who has always supported and believed in me. I also quit my job a few days ago (so as of the 15th, i'll be officially done!). I have become a super badass framer, and i love framing, but working there stressed me out so much and i got paid so little and my boss was so manipulative, that i decided i'd had enough. I've gleaned all i could from that experience, and now it's time to move on. she was taking advantage of me anyways, she depended on Angi and I WAY too much, we did all the framing work that brought in the bulk of the money for the store. Now i can focus on my last quarter at UCSC and enjoy myself (or at least, not run myself ragged like i have fall and winter quarter). I am still taking 20 units, even without orchestra. So needless to say, i'll still be busy as always.

Tomorrow will be my first Intro to Modern Dance class. I'm excited, and nervous. I have no idea what to wear. As lame as that sounds. What the hell do you wear to dance class.... a leotard?! No way. I haven't been to a dance class since 2nd grade ballet. I am going to wear yoga clothes and hope i don't look like a freak. wish me luck. i hope we don't have to do "expressive dance" with scarves or something... I don't want to dance like a "tree" or a "gracefully flowing waterfall." I keep holding out a little hope that the teacher will be super cool, and decide she is going to have the class learn the choreography from Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted (Snake)" music video, but i sort of doubt it. Rats.